So many times in life we would like to try something new. Like a new sport, different style haircut, changing clothing or losing weight. But are afraid to try because of the criticism we might receive from others because of our change.
Over time we have been brainwashed into believing other people's opinions and think they hold more weight than our own feelings. We do not want to be judged.
If you want to break old habits, you must not be controlled by outside people. You must have inner control. This is your life!
There is nothing wrong with a little criticism. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths. Listen for it. Ask yourself if there is any truth to what someone is saying. Do they know what they are talking about?
If you feel they are after careful consideration, then use their feedback to improve. If your intuition tells you they are full of it then disregard it! Be true to yourself and only accept opinions that hold truths!
Don't be afraid to have criticisms of yourself. But make sure they are your own opinions and not someone else’s. If you do not like something about yourself then change it. Always look to improve.
Sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed. Others have fed us information over the years that might have be tainted and have altered our thoughts over the years.
Since we were not trying to decipher between the truth, our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where you cannot find the paper you want. It is time to clean up the mess of criticism and restructure. This is the only way you will be able to change you habits and better your life.
Handling Criticism The Right Way
Criticism is difficult to handle. None of us likes to hear the bitter truth about our mistakes and inabilities. But we face criticism in life every day and cannot escape it. We also criticized others so we know that it is a two-way street. How to handle criticism?
What To Do When We are Criticized?
Listen to the criticism and before you react to it, think about your strengths. That will give you positive input and make you ready to face the criticism squarely.
Even if it is true that will give you the strength to face and do something about it other than an angry retort. Otherwise we may begin feeling angry and sometimes worthless.
Content Of Criticism
Is the criticism true? Or it is misinterpretation of the facts? You may at times set aside your fears and emotions and look at the situation clearly. If need be asking the other person more details and their beliefs.
Probably they believe something different than you. Once you talk to them and ask them about what can be done you will be on path to recovery rather than destruction.
We criticize others. We believe that to be true. Similarly, somebody criticizing us may feel that they are right, and the criticism may well be true. What would you do then?
What should we logically do when we know that we are weak in something? We should strengthen, right? So rather than worrying about the weakness, make that point strong in your life. Think of ways to improve and do it slowly.
Grudge and What To Do About It
Are you focusing on the person who criticizes you or on the content of the criticism? If you focus on the person your focus will shift to other person's weaknesses and you will strike back with your list of criticisms. Instead focus on the criticism itself. Leave that person aside.
How To Handle Self Criticism?
There is a distinct difference between self-criticism and criticism by others. Most of us are so happy to agree with whatever we bash ourselves with but when somebody else tells us the same thing we attack right back.
If I tell myself that I walk slowly that is Ok, but if my friend tells me the same thing, I take umbrage and tell them that it’s not true at all. Why do we look at criticism so differently?
The Trouble With This
The trouble comes in two ways. If somebody tells us something that is true, we tend not to agree but if we criticize ourselves wrongly as we are too ready to accept that and go into a bout of depression.
Expressions such as - I am no good, I am of no use, I always fail, no body appreciates me and so on are readily heard when somebody criticizes oneself. The person believes them all and all efforts of self-help go to waste.
What To Do
If we treat both criticisms differently, we will surely be in trouble. What should we do then? Let us look at this in another way to solve the problem. Remove the person who is making criticism from picture and only look at the criticism. Remove yourself or anybody else. That way you will only be paying attention to the criticism and will have no biased view. After this look at the criticism for truth. Is there any truth in this statement?
Think logically and let no emotion enter the thoughts. With logic you will be able to analyze the situation clearly. If the criticism is wrong, you will conclude that it is wrong and not true and vice versa. If you were to think about this any other way you would have reached a wrong conclusion.
Let us improve in our way of handling criticism in life!