Let us face it, we experience loneliness even with many people around us. So, let us look at some of the way to deal with it! This is our Serial 2 and you may find our Serial 1 here!
The Laws of Attraction
As a man thinks, so is he.
Ever wonder why certain people get the polite, respectful, “Good Morning, Sir”, and others get the, “Hey Bud” or “Hey, Mac” kind of treatment?
Think for a moment, now.
The answer: How you think about yourself.
You see, the way people react to you is due to the way you think about yourself. Why do you think people judge a book by its cover or a bad kind by the clothes he wears? I know it is unfair, but the way a person thinks in his heart, he will appear or even live out what he is thinking!
The Law of Attraction is not something new; it is the way things are. It is evident in Murphy’s Law – the things we most don’t want to happen to often happens to us, that is why a dropped buttered toast always land on the wrong side!
Even as a child in school, I have always hoped that when I saw sitting in class, and I didn’t know how to answer a question the teacher asked, I always whispered in my heart, “Don’t pick me… PLEASE, don’t pick me” and the teacher always did. It didn’t matter where I was sitting, the teacher had this mind reading ability that knew I didn’t know the answer or wasn’t paying attention.
How does this apply to overcoming loneliness?
If you ‘project’ an aura of unwantedness, you will feel unwanted and your friends will reject you unconsciously. Stop acting like a wet, unwanted puppy who just escaped from the pound.
Say to yourself, “You find me attractive, loveable and good company.” It is true we can’t always convince ourselves that we are lovable, attractive and people love being around us.
But since we can’t control what others think, this form of affirmation actually fools our mind into thinking WE ARE lovable and attractive.
Try it and see!
Practical Steps To Overcome Loneliness
There are a number of ways to begin dealing with loneliness that involve the need to develop friendships, doing things for yourself, or learning to feel better about yourself in general.
· Constantly remind yourself that the feeling of loneliness is TEMPORARY and you will get over it in time
· Make an effort to talk to someone NEW. I know it is hard, but you must develop momentum and the first step is usually the hardest but most necessary.
· Put yourself in new situations where you will meet people. Engage in activities in which you have genuine interest. Meet with people of similar interest
· Join societies like church groups, organizations and others
· STOP listening to lonely songs (e.g. All by Myself – Celine Dion)
· OPEN yourself to others first. Don’t expect people to share their problems with a closed person
· Don’t judge new people on the basis of past relationships with old people. Try to see each person you meet from a new perspective instead of bring judgmental.
· Intimate friendships usually develop gradually as people learn to share their inner feelings. Don’t rush into intimate friendship by sharing too much or expecting that others will.
· Don’t just seek romantic relationships. Platonic or even casual buddies can be extremely satisfactory.
· Lead a well balanced life. Never neglect good nutrition, exercise and sufficient sleep. One of the main causes of depression which leads to loneliness, is the lack of those things.
· Spending time alone will help you examine yourself more closely.
· Don’t be a parasite to your friends. If you seek them for compassion and sympathy, they will be there for you. But if you repeatedly drone over and over about your problems, it becomes a nuisance and your friends will at best just entertain you.
· Reflect back on good memories and count your blessings.
· Learn a new skill. Success in achieving something will make you feel good about yourself.
· If you are having long term depression, it is not wrong to seek MEDICAL advice. It is perfectly normal to get a prescription because lack of certain chemicals in the body is also the source of depression and can be treated easily. If we feel hungry and seek food, having the right medicine in proper dosage is the right way to tackle depression and feel less lonely.
· See a counselor and talk in privacy.
· Spend time in Prayer.
Breaking the Destructive Cycle
A word of caution:
Don’t act like a hero because you are lonely.
You may be surprised. Self-pity is a subtle form of pride. Proud people glory in their achievements while people who self-pity glory in their sufferings.
It is really dangerous to dwell too long in loneliness because we are created to have relationships with one another.
It is a strong part of human nature that cannot be erased. If you grew up living alone in a jungle, you will most probably interact with animals or plants and talk to them in your own language.
· The greatest worry is when someone dwells too long in their loneliness these few things can happen.
· The loneliness addict shun all attempts to reconnect rendering their people around them lots of pain when their efforts to help the person gets rejected.
· The relationships around them slowly crumbles and when people start to ignore the lonely person, they will feel more justified when they finally exclaim, “Look at them; I was right all along that they never cared for me at all!”
· The loneliness addict eventually gets immune to the pain and embraces loneliness as a way of life. He is too lazy to change.
His disease spread to other ‘survivors’.
This should motivate you enough to take action. Don’t wait, do it NOW!
Here is an interesting quote:
Loneliness was the first thing that God's eye named not good.
- John Milton
Finding Our Purpose in the Wilderness
Here is a story designed to motivate you. When the dust settles and we have made all the money in the world, reached the height of fame and obtained the epitome of power, what gives us true meaning in life?
Many living things need each other to survive. If you have ever seen a Colorado aspen tree, you may have noticed that it does not grow alone. Aspens are found in clusters, or groves. The reason is that the aspen sends up new shoots from the roots. In a small grove, all of the trees may actually be connected by their roots! Giant California redwood trees may tower 300 feet into the sky. It would seem that they would require extremely deep roots to anchor them against strong winds. But we're told that their roots are actually quite shallow -- in order to capture as much surface water as possible. And they spread in all directions, intertwining with other redwoods. Locked together in this way, all the trees support each other in wind and storms. Like the aspen, they never stand-alone. They need one another to survive. People, too, are connected by a system of roots. We are born to family and learn early to make friends. We are not meant to survive long without others.
And like the redwood, we need to hold one another up. When pounded by the sometimes vicious storms of life, we need others to support and sustain us.
Have you been going it alone? Maybe it's time to let someone else help hold you up for a while. Or perhaps someone needs to hang on to you.
--- Author Unknown ---
Take care and have a wonderful life!